Domestic Violence
At Schwartzapfel Truhowsky Marcus P.C., we are committed to reducing the prevalence of domestic violence, an ongoing concern in our society. Consider the following:
- According to the U.S. Department of Justice, every year approximately 1.3 million U.S. women are physically assaulted by their partner.
- About one-third of all women who are murdered are killed by a partner.
- Battered women are not the only victims of abuse - it is estimated that anywhere between 3.3 million and 10 million children witness domestic violence annually. Research demonstrates that exposure to violence can have serious negative effects on a child’s development.
- Slightly more than half of female victims of home violence live in households with children under age 12.
While the statistics are staggering, they are even more shocking when you consider that experts believe that the vast majority of domestic violence incidents go unreported. This is due to the very nature of domestic violence ⎯ an intimate partner creates a pattern of coercive control over the victim, limiting their access to help and support from others.
Often this coercion takes the form of battering. Battering is a behavior that physically harms, arouses fear, prevents a partner from doing what they wish or forces them to behave in ways they do not want. Battering includes the use of physical violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen in couples that are married, living together or dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.
Consider seeking help if your partner:
- Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
- Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
- Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
- Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
- Does not want you to work.
- Controls finances or refuses to share money.
- Punishes you by withholding affection.
- Expects you to ask permission.
- Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
- Humiliates you in any way.
You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner:
- Damages property when angry (throws objects, punches walls, kicks doors, etc.).
- Pushes, slaps, bites, kicks or chokes you.
- Abandons you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
- Scares you by driving recklessly.
- Uses a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
- Forces you to leave your home.
- Traps you in your home or keeps you from leaving.
- Prevents you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
- Hurts your children.
- Uses physical force in sexual situations .
You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:
- Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
- Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
- Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
- Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
- Forces or manipulates you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
- Holds you down during sex.
- Demands sex when you are sick, tired or after beating you.
- Hurts you with weapons or objects during sex.
- Involves other people in sexual activities with you.
- Ignores your feelings regarding sex.
When the victim of domestic violence is also in a disadvantaged group, such as recent immigrants or low-wage earners, their access to assistance is even further limited. Someone who has limited English literacy may be unaware of the resources available, or may feel unable to communicate their situation. There may also be cultural barriers to reporting any abuse in the home. Persons who have limited income may feel unable to support themselves without the abusive partner, especially when children are involved.
The majority of domestic violence victims feel trapped in their situation, but help is available. Many organizations provide assistance, both emotional and financial, to help victims overcome their abuse. Many victims escape their abusive partners and go on to live happy lives. If you are in a situation you feel is abusive now or may become abusive in the future, please consider getting help. No one should have to live with domestic violence. If you need help in Suffolk County, help is available through the Suffolk County Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
Additional Resources: Domestic Violence Resources
